I was raped but I did not give up my Life !
I was raped at sixteen. I was targeted because I was vulnerable, my parents were not that great to say the least, they could only give what they had. the rapist knew I would not be heard even if I
tried. I kept his secret for five years and it nearly killed me. I spent seven years in addiction, alcoholism and anorexia which resulted as a way to try to block the trauma out.
Literally, my mind used to shut out parts of what happened to try and get me through until a time I was able to begin to deal with it….I stood up for myself,i started working,took up a job of a
teacher,It wasn’t easy ,it was a tough ride. While teaching in my class, I would be lost sometimes and the same man and his torture would flash back in front of my eyes. I would freeze while walking in the market,malls,just freeze. Tears dropped every time I used to see smiling girls,my heart felt happy but questioned “why have I missed this happy part
of my childhood?” My religious side started
questioning god and where was he when I was drowning in pain and guilt….Why didint he help when I was being raped?
I quit my job of a teacher coz I couldn’t concentrate on teaching students.
After 1 year in a rehab as if I had done some wrong, I jumped the walls of the center and ran to my Grand ma’s home. She took care of me. I started studying Psychology,it helped me to deal with the fears within me. Then ,i went to US to study medicine.
Today ,I’m a clinical Psychiatrist in one of the top notch hospital in New Delhi.
I just wanna say, that if you are suffering in silence and consumed with shame and # blaming yourself,it was not your fault,nor ever will it be… Our society is too shabby and self conscious to help a fellow human being. Be Strong ,fight back.Don’t keep quite .
YOU HAVE TO STAND UP FOR YOURSELF.YOU
JUST CANT GIVE UP!!